Conflict, Division, and Sacrifice

Written By: A.R.

Recently, I was journaling and considering some of the core beliefs that have been with me for a while but are not true. One core belief that I have discovered about myself is ‘conflict divides.’ Throughout my life, I have had a very high level of fear whenever there has been conflict in a relationship. Many people can relate to this feeling. I have feared that the conflict is going to somehow cause division in my relationship with that person. This fear is somewhat valid based on many experiences where conflicts were not able to be resolved. On the other hand, when I take time to consider this belief, I realize that I have also had many experiences where a conflict has resulted in a closer, stronger relationship.

Take my husband, for example. He and I have had many conflicts over the last twenty-five years of marriage! Our conflicts were the worst early in our marriage when we were just learning how to live with one another. We were such opposites. Our pre-marriage counselor laughed out loud as he tallied our personality tests; he could see several potential challenges as we stared at each other with loving optimism before we said, “I do.”

On our wedding day, my dad gave my husband and me the following advice: Never go to bed angry. My parents had celebrated their twenty-fifth anniversary a week earlier and that was their advice. Twenty-five years later, I can honestly say, we have been committed to talking through our differences. We have spent many nights talking into the dawn. Sometimes it has taken a while. Sometimes it has happened over several conversations, but we have worked through most of our differences—at least the ones that matter. I am blessed with a husband who has been committed to working through conflicts.

The truth about conflicts is that they can cause division, but they may not. In the middle of a conflict, I am not always aware of this reality. However, when I take a step back from the fear and emotions, I can see many experiences where conflict has brought me closer to another. Conflicts pass and new perspectives come. It turns out conflicts do not need to be feared. When properly embraced, they can be quite enlightening. The truth about conflict is that it can result in a better relationship.

If conflict itself doesn’t divide, then what does? I would like to suggest that Yahushua divides. I know this is a concerning statement, but for a moment, let’s consider it. Our Master said:

Matthew 10:34-36 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword, for I have come to bring division, a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law– and a man’s enemies are those of his own household.”

These words of our Master may be hard to digest, nonetheless, Yahushua is okay with dividing families. The same Elohim who has put in our hearts a love for our families also wants us to be fully devoted to Him. At times we must even deny the love we have for our families to follow our Master. Most likely all followers of Yahushua have experienced this.

I have always enjoyed time with my family, as a child and as an adult with my children. Family time is important! Holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, and all that’s in between can be wonderful times for families to be together. Yet, in our walk with Yahushua, my husband and I have denied ourselves in this area and followed Him to His End-Time place of protection here in Jordan.

Matthew 10:37-38 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take up his stake and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.”

By following Yahushua in the Call to Jordan, our family understands what it is like to deny ourselves and leave our family. We understand what it is like to make difficult choices relationally. Sure, my husband and I have our children with us, but our parents have not followed this call; our brothers and sisters are not here; our aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews are not here either. It has been a lonely road for all of us! Relational loss is perhaps one of the greatest challenges people need to overcome to walk out this calling. It has been for us. We seldom share this side of things about our family as our desire in this blog is to encourage the reader and empower the reader to follow Yahushua.

I do not share these things to conjure up sympathy or even praise for our family—neither is what we desire. I say this because the End Time call for the Bride of Messiah requires people who are willing to give up ALL to follow Him. The Bride will be willing to put Him ahead of their family members. Yahushua is not looking for people who want to put the pleasures of this world ahead of Him—even if those pleasures are seemingly good. For example, the pleasures of holding your newborn grandchildren in your arms or the pleasures of seeing your children get married—these are all good, but our Master said that His coming will be as in the Days of Noah.

Matthew 24:36-39 “But concerning that day and the hour no one knows, not even the messengers of the heavens, but My Father only. And as the days of Noaḥ, so also shall the coming of the Son of Aḏam be. For as they were in the days before the flood, eating, and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noaḥ entered into the ark, and they did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also shall the coming of the Son of Aḏam be.”

It’s not that our family doesn’t enjoy eating and drinking and people getting married. We’d love to be a part of that! After living in a foreign country, we’d especially love to be a part of these events with people from our culture. However, our hearts are fixed on the coming of Yahushua Messiah. We care more about preparing for our wedding day with Him than anything else in this world. So, we deny the desires we have in this world and keep our eyes fixed on Him.

If Yahushua is calling you to be a part of His Bride, He must love you a lot! It is a joyful thing to be chosen by Him. The loss is not worth comparing to the joy that is before His beloved Bride.

To read more about the Call to Jordan as it is revealed in the Bible, please consider reading our digital book The Call to Jordan: An Invitation for Messiah’s Bride. Though not all of YHWH’s people will follow this End Times call, I believe it is an important call for all of His people to consider. After you have considered the Scriptures about Jordan, you can better decide if this calling is for you.

Many blessings to you as you consider our Master’s words and plan of End Days salvation.